


Between Eye Patches and Miniskirts

by Zanya



Series: Falling Between the Lines [4]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Costumes, Established Relationship, Frottage, Humor, M/M, Mentions of other FMA Canon for humor purposes, Oral Sex, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-29
Updated: 2014-03-29
Packaged: 2018-01-17 12:11:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1387180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zanya/pseuds/Zanya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Roy always has trouble saying no to Ed, especially when the equivalent exchange offered involves a secret fetish of his.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Between Eye Patches and Miniskirts

Roy adjusted the eye patch once and then looked back in the mirror. He frowned and carefully pulled it over his hair and off his head. This wouldn’t work at all. It was way too big and covered not only his eye but half his cheek too. He couldn’t believe he let Ed talk him into this. 

Out of all the things he thought he’d be doing on a Sunday afternoon, this wasn’t one of them. Roy didn’t hate children nor did he mind them lurking around occasionally, but plays were never his strong suit. And there was a big difference between being around his friends’ children and an entire horde of kids he didn’t even know. 

But Ed had a big soft spot for kids, and Roy had a huge soft spot for Ed, which led to his current predicament. He had a hard time saying no. Still, there had to be a way out of wearing the monstrosity of an eye patch. Ed could be reasonable sometimes, and Roy felt confident enough to be able to weasel his way out of it somehow. 

The rest of his outfit wasn’t too bad. He could live with the billowy white shirt that exposed the top of his chest and the brown, loose pants that were held up by a drawstring. It didn’t even bother him that the black boots pushed the bottom of his pants almost up to his knees. It didn’t feel that much different than his military uniform. 

What he absolutely could not handle the feel, though, was the eye patch tight around his head, covering his eye and cheek. The material of it felt too scratchy, and the elastic band felt like it had been made more for a child’s head than an adults. He exhaled a heavy sigh, trying to figure out how to convince Ed of his concerns. 

Behind him, he heard the door open. Roy turned around and watched Ed slip into the room. And of course Ed had to wear a nice white button-up shirt with those sinfully tight black leather pants. 

Roy cleared his throat and tried to settle his thoughts so he fortify his position on the matter. “Hello.”

“Hey, how’s it comin?” Ed closed the door softly behind him. 

“Awful.” Roy looked back at his reflection in the mirror and then down at the patch. He put it back on and turned to Ed. “This doesn’t fit right.”

“It doesn't look too bad.” Ed came up next to Roy and ran his hands down the patch. When Roy didn’t say anything, Ed wrapped his arms around his waist. “Besides, this is the only one they had. Couldn’t find another one in storage.”

“Right, but I don't think it's necessary for me to wear this.” Roy figured he'd start with basic logic and see where it got him. “Can’t I go without it?”

“The kids'll love it.” Ed leaned his head down onto Roy's shoulder. “It's only for one night then you won’t have to worry about it anymore.”

Roy pulled the eye patch off his head again. “Ed… this thing is too big and overstated. Don’t you have something smaller I can use? You're positive it's the only one? You’ve looked everywhere for another one?” 

“Yes, positive. It’s the only one around.” Ed's lips tilted up into a smug-looking smile. “You know, it still looks kind of good on you. I wonder if i can sneak up on you in your blind spot.”

“I’m being serious here.” Roy tossed the patch behind him and into the sink. “And, no, you can’t sneak up on my blind spot. I’d know you were coming.”

“You think?” Ed got a puzzled look on his face that Roy knew was complete bullshit. “I don’t know. I can be pretty damn crafty when I want.” When Roy only raised and eyebrow, he sighed. “You know, I _did_ try to find something I thought you’d like and couldn’t. I really didn’t think it’d be an issue since it’s for a play that no one else’ll see except some kids and two teachers. And they said that since you’ll be the Pirate Captain, you had to wear it.”

“Are you serious?” Roy growled. “Most pirates I’ve met don’t wear eye patches. They don’t even look much different from anyone else.”

“Oh, so you’ve met some before? That’s good. It’ll give you something to refer to while pretending to be one.” Ed’s eyes widen as he gave Roy an innocent look. “What? It's true. It'll help you to get into character better.” 

“Ed… that’s not the point.” Roy shot Ed a dirty look. 

“But you wear it so well.” Ed lifted his shoulders and then put his arms on the sink. “It’s like… it’s almost like you were meant to wear it or something. Like, only you can pull off something that big and awkward.” He gave Roy a thoughtful look. “You know, maybe you did once. Maybe in some other time, some other world you had one or maybe you were even a pirate.”

“That’s absolutely ridiculous,” Roy sighed and shook his head. Ed only grinned in return. “You’ve been discussing inter-dimensional theory and alternate realities with Alphonse again, haven’t you?”

“Maybe. But that doesn’t matter cause it’s true.” Ed’s expression grew serious, and he pointed a finger at Roy. “There _are_ other worlds out there. I don’t care what anyone else says. We just don’t have ability to get to them. Yet. And I bet, I bet in some other world, much like ours, there’s another you that may or may not have worn and eye patch.”

“That’s an awfully specific thing to say.” Roy narrowed his eyes at Ed. “Sometimes I don’t even know how your mind comes to the conclusions it comes to.”

“Yeah, so?” Ed shrugged and then poked Roy’s chest. “It seems like it’s meant to be for some reason. Can’t explain it, but when I came in the room and when you put it on and saw you, it seemed to make sense, you know.”

“No, I don’t know. It sounds like a bunch of nonsense that’s only purpose to mess with me.” He sighed again and gave Ed a pitying look for what he was about to do. “I have a feeling my feelings on this aren't being taken seriously.” Roy calmly reached behind him, picked up the eye patch, and held it over the toilet. “What would you do if I dropped it in and flushed?”

Ed tried to reach around him to grab the eye patch. “Hey, don't do that.” Roy lowered his hand another inch. “Okay, okay. I am taking your feelings seriously, but this is what they want, and honestly, you _do_ look good in it. You can actually pull it off. Who else could do that? No one, that’s who. And if you do pull it off, I may be willing to sacrifice my own dignity in an alchemic trade with you.”

Roy put the eye patch in his pants pocket, titled his head a little, and turned to face Ed directly. “I'm... listening.”

“I bet you are.” Ed grinned. “I heard something the other day. A rumor. Interesting one at that.” 

“Is this leading to our equivalent exchange?” Roy pulled Ed closer and turned their bodies around so that Ed was now leaning against the sink. “Or are you stalling for time?”

“Havoc told me that when he first met you, you may or may not have had a slight fetish with some of the attire this one secretary wore when you were stationed in the East.” Ed moved closer until their bodies were flush against each other. He leaned in to whisper in Roy's ear. “If you do this for me, this one thing, this one time, I'll consider wearing something like that for you, and I’ll let you do whatever you want to me.”

Roy pulled back like he had been mildly shocked. When his eyes focused again, he stared at Ed for a full minute, trying to figure out if there was a catch or if it was some joke. “Surely, you're not serious.”

“I'm as serious as it comes.” Ed's grin now looked something like a cat that had just caught the ever elusive canary. “But you're gonna have to do this first.”

“You'll have to wear panties.” Roy's eyes trailed down Ed's body and rested on his crotch. “Your boxers would stick out and show.” His eyes flickered back up to Ed's. “That would be... no good.”

“You're really getting into the idea of this, aren't you?” Ed allowed Roy to back him back up against the sink. 

“And you'll need to wear your hair down.” Roy's hands rested on Ed's hips. “There should be stockings too.” 

“Of course. Because, you have a hair fetish.” Ed nudged Roy’s neck with his nose. “And now, apparently, you may have a panty fetish along with a stocking one.”

“It’s not a fetish, Ed.” Roy pulled Ed’s tie out and let his hair down around his shoulders. “You just look impossibly good with it down.”

“I know what you’re after.” Ed leaned back and let Roy ‘mess with his hair.’ 

“Perhaps you could give me a practical demonstration to fully explain this supposition of yours,” Roy suggested while moving his right hand behind the back of Ed's neck. 

“You know someone will think they have the balls to interrupt us even though they should know better.” Ed leaned his head on his right shoulder to give Roy more access to his neck. 

“Then that’ll be their problem.” Roy’s mouth moved upwards, tugging and nipping at Ed’s ear lobe. “If they have that sort of resolve then it’ll be a lesson for them to learn.”

“I think you should wait until after the play. You don't want them saying you're Roy Mustang, the horny pirate, sailing on the great ship Elric do you?” Ed pulled Roy closer despite the words that came out of his mouth. “Unless you have some sort of exhibitionist fetish.”

“You’re obsessed with my fetishes, Edward. And they won't think anything of this if we’re quick and quiet about it and make the problem go away.” Roy leaned in and kissed him before lightly sucking on his bottom lip. “And I’ll make it good for you.”

Ed moved closer so Roy hooked his arms around his waist and lifted him up onto the sink. His hands warmed when he reached underneath Ed’s shirt. Roy quickly unzipped his pants, pulling them and the boxers down around his ankles. He gently spread Ed’s legs apart, careful not to get the automail caught in his shirt sleeve. 

“Don’t you always make it good?” Ed’s hands settled on Roy’s hips for a moment before he untied the drawstring on the pants, grateful that Roy wasn’t in uniform. Not that he minded the uniform, but it took him way too long to get down last time. Ed pushed Roy’s pants down, along with his underwear. “You gonna show me what’s up or are we going to spend the rest of our time gazing into each other’s eyes?”

“Surely, we can do both.” Pushing Ed’s white shirt out of the way, Roy kissed along his neck. His fingers touched the hard muscles along Ed’s waist and hips. 

Leaning down, he kissed the inside of Ed’s thigh before taking the tip of his penis into his mouth. Roy glanced up, following the way Ed closed his eyes halfway and how his chest rose and hitched each time he sucked harder before flicking his tongue over the tip. 

Ed had a good retort tucked away in the back of his mind, but his words got caught in his throat while watching himself disappear slowly into Roy’s mouth. Gently, he moved his hips forward and back in an attempt to get more of that wet, hot bliss surrounding him. Ed’s butt slipped back, and he almost lost his balance. Before he could fall into the sink, Roy pulled him forward again. And the bastard had the nerve to smile around his cock over it. 

The familiar heat began to build up. Ed braced himself on his right hand and leaned back with his head resting near his shoulder. “Roy,” he moaned and pulled on his lower lip with his teeth. His toes tried to curl up in his shoes while his right leg shook. “Shit, if you keep it up, not gonna last long enough for you.”

Roy eased off and slowly stood back up, ignoring the painful pop in his knees. His hand settled on Ed’s shoulders, making sure he was firmly situated on the edge of the sink. Pressing his chest against Ed’s, Roy reached down and took them both into his hand. “It always feels like a gain when I can render you speechless.”

“Is that so,” Ed chuckled breathlessly. “Can you imagine what it would be like if I was wearing it? That thing you like so much?” He reached behind Roy’s neck and leaned in to whisper in his ear. “You’d have to be careful not to tear it, and you’d have to pull it up just high enough so that you don’t ruin it when you come.”

Groaning, Roy’s head bumped against Ed’s while he rubbed their erections together and pushed forward. “You’re getting better at that, Ed. I feel as if I may have created a monster.”

“You love it when I say dirty things to things, especially when I hold you down and fuck you into our bed. Which is exactly what I’m going to do when we get back to my house tonight.” Ed’s hands gripped the back of Roy’s shoulders tightly. “I’m going to lay you out on the bed, spread your legs, and fuck you until you scream my name. I want you to think about that while you’re pretending to be a pirate for those nice little kids out there.”

Roy swallowed and quickly nodded his head. His thumb touched Ed’s mouth and moved down over Ed’s neck to his chest. How could he say no with Ed underneath him, saying those things, and willing? He tugged on Roy’s hand to get it moving again. 

The slide of their erections was quick, and the feel of skin against skin had Ed moving his hips forward in effort to get more of that sweet friction he loved. Roy’s hand moved faster in hard, rough upward jerks, just the way he loved it. Ed’s knuckles turned white from how tight of a grip he had on Roy’s shoulders. 

Hearing each hitch of Roy’s breath made him reach down and cover Roy’s hand with his own. Ed could barely catch his breath. Each swallow and gasp for air became increasingly harder. Everything seemed to be moving faster than his mind could keep track of. 

When he could finally focus them, he noticed that Roy’s eyes looked soft. Ed had long figured out what that was even though nothing had ever been said about it, but the look of concentration from always stayed and never wavered. He knew he was the center of Roy’s world right now. Ed felt captivated, always, and he couldn’t look away from it. 

Roy’s other hand snaked around his hip to his butt. His breaths came out in short gasps. Ed ignored the cold feel of the sink underneath him and spread his legs wider so they had more room. His body felt wound up to the point of snapping. Just one more push would do it. And when Roy’s finger brushed underneath his balls, his body tensed and he came hard. 

Ed clamped his mouth shut when he felt his stomach flutter and his thighs quiver. His fingers dug deeper into Roy’s shoulder as his body jerked forward as his release washed over him. He tried to keep his eyes open and failed. “Oh, fuck,” he whispered, breathing deeply in and letting out a shaky breath. 

Opening his eyes, he watched Roy’s arms shake and the muscles tense and knew he would soon follow. Ed loved seeing that look in his eyes right before he came. That moment, that look, that’s what made Ed allow Roy to do almost whatever he wanted to him, which now included letting his hips be tilted up so Roy could use his thighs to get off. 

Ed felt himself pulled tightly against Roy’s chest and closed his thighs. Lips and teeth moved along the side of his face to his neck. Roy pulled back only enough so that he could. Ed wet his lips, and his body jerked up with each thrust. His hand shook when he raised it to brush his matted hair away from his eyes and then to cup Ed’s face. 

Ed’s breath came out in short pants. The tiniest noises that slipped from Roy’s mouth when he came drove him crazy. The way his face flushed and his hair fell into his eyes when he was so close... If they had had the time, he would have allowed himself to get it up again and take Roy against the wall, hard and fast. Ed’s heart pounded in his chest, and he could hear it beating in his ears. 

Pulling Roy’s head into his chest, Ed could feel the wet warmth of cum between his thighs and on his stomach. He sighed softly and kissed the top of Roy’s head. “Holy hell, wasn’t expecting that this early.”

Roy’s shoulders shook as he laughed. He lifted his head up and pulled away, finally noticing the mess he had made all over Ed’s lower half. He trailed his fingers up Ed’s hips and to hem of his shirt. “Oh, some got on there.”

“It’s fine.” He looked down and inspected the damage. “It’s a good thing this is white.” Ed’s fingers shook a little when he grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it straight out. 

Roy noticed Ed’s right hand had a secure grip on the eye patch. When had Ed reached into his pants pocket and took it? “I think that maybe in another world or life you were a magician.”

“See. It’s fun to speculate, isn’t it?” Ed leaned in close and kissed Roy’s forehead. “Here, let’s get this back on.” He took the eye patch and put it back on Roy. “Only one night and then you get the thing you secretly want.”

“The thing, huh? We’re not going to say what it is directly?” Roy’s mouth tilted up into a fond smile. 

“No need.” Ed slid off the sink and steadied himself. “You know what I’m talking about. Don’t need to say it. It’ll be embarrassing enough doing it.”

“Oh, come now, Edward.” Roy held Ed’s face in his hands, kissing him softly. “It won’t be that embarrassing. I promise by the end, you won’t even be thinking about that, and you’ll love it.”

Ed could feel himself getting hard again until a loud knock at the door startled him. “Shit, you need to go.” He sighed and rested his head against Roy’s. “I’ll be out in a minute. Gonna try to get some of this off my shirt.”

When another knock came, Roy turned towards the door. “I’ll be out in a minute.” He grabbed a towel off the rack and wet it. “Here. Don’t be long. Can’t have me up on stage without you sitting in the audience with a smug, satisfied smile on your face.”

Grinning, Ed took the towel and began to clean himself up. “Knock ‘em dead Pirate Mustang.”

“Oh, that’s very funny.” Roy looked in the mirror and adjusted the eye patch so that it wasn’t cockeyed anymore. He gave Ed one last glare and slipped out of the bathroom with Ed calling for him not to forget about tonight.

**Author's Note:**

> Wasn't planning for this to have smut. This was originally supposed to be a short one-shot for humor purposes. It's been awhile since I've written a sex scene. I feel rusty at it :/
> 
> It's going to be awhile since I post another random oneshot in this verse. Sometime soon, I'll be posting my fma big bang fic that follows this verse, and that fic is going to set off other follow up fics that will somewhat be in a more linear order for the series. With that said, at some point, I wouldn't mind writing a follow up to this one >.>


End file.
